Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
