Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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