Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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