my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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