She is in my trunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My balls are so social today.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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