so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
