i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
