Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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