Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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