She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
