hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
