i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
