I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
