I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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