Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
