I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
