Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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