A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
