I'm drive I can fine osifer
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
