You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
