She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
