I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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