So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize