Fuck appropriateness.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
