It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
