he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
