I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
