I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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