I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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