I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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