Where is the hickey?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
