FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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