OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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