It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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