Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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