She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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