I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
