if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
