Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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