I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
