Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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