Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
