called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
