I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
