my phone needs a breathalizer
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
