How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
