Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
