Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I checked into jail on foursquare
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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