return my video game
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
