pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
