its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
there is puke in my bra ... again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
