my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
