Sponge bath it is.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
