the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The air taste purple.
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