i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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