so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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