Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
