I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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