She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
