fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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