I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
