You're my little dorito
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Houston, we have a blender
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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