Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
