In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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