Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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