my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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